I feel Like a Berk

It's unfair how you do this to me,

Never make me feel under the weather,

Making me miss you desperately,

You treat me like when we were together.

Back when I was in love with you,

You were comfortable to be around,

If there was one thing I would choose to do,

I would have stood my ground.

The feelings I’ve had for you,

Make it harder to look into your eyes,

Still friends, me and you,

But I feel I am telling lies,
I still see you as something more,

Perhaps I should not open that door…

But the truth must be told;

When you smile, it warms me,

Your hands I must hold,

Those lips; I wish to kiss me.

But it cannot be.

If once it did not work,

It must never be.

I feel like a berk.

AS Results

Well... I wasn't close off my estimates tbh :) I'm still kinda disappointed but happy at same time xD.
I thought I'd get an E in Psychology... which I did. My teacher thinks it needs re-marking though as she thought I deserved higher xD
I got a C in English Literature :'(, I thought I'd get a B so I'm kinda disappointed. I know I wasn't far off but it's my favorite subject!
I got a B in Photography, thought I'd get a C which is good. But I CANNOT WAIT TO DROP IT!
Then in Media Studies I thought I'd get B... I got a freaking A which I am extremely pleased with :')!

UNFORTUNATELY I have found the grade boundaries and I was about 5 marks off from a B in English Literature :'( and 2 marks off from a D in Psychology... boo!

Life in General

Why is life so incredibly confusing?

When you're little you just think you sail through life, and all adults tell you to enjoy life whilst your young... but then there's school and if you mess around you usually end up not doing well in life. It's a huge contradiction! It's just like when your parents yell at you for not staying in and doing homework etc... but then when you stay in loads they get irritated that your always in and start telling you to go out more. That has happened to everyone at some point right? No... just me? Okay then...

Anyway, the real point is that as I am now 17 and about to go into my second year of Sixth Form, I have to start thinking seriously about what I want to do with my life... for now I don't really have my heart set on any job. But I pretty much have to start applying to uni ASAP, bearing in mind I don't have a clue what I want to do. I really wish I was back to being 7 or something...

Also I get my AS results tomorrow... I'm predicted all B's but I reckon I will get BBCE. And the E is on the hopeful side of things... If I pass Psychology (which would be the E) I will be so incredibly happy as I really enjoy it, and that I can finally drop Photography! But then again as I will more than likely get an E, that means I have to go to a meeting on Friday :S, I still hope I pass though! BUT if I fail, I will be devastated  And I'll have to carry on with Photography :| but, if I fail then at least I will have chosen what to do at Uni and in life...

So even though, these are not my final A-Level results a lot still counts upon them, and this terrifies me so much! But "everything happens for a reason", and "what will be, will be". Another strange event occurring tomorrow is that after almost 5 years... my hair is returning somewhat to its natural colour. The funny thing is, is that as my hair is purple at the moment, I reckon I will give some of the teachers at school a fright hehe :) And I suppose the bright, odd colour somewhat helps to built confidence. YouTube helps too! Just as writing this does, although one thought running through my head as I type, is that I could pretty much say anything as no one reads my blog, of if they do, it is likely they got bored after the first 2/3 paragraphs. Although if you are still reading thank you, you are AWESOME and hello :)!

Oh I FINALLY got my first job, not that anyone is actually reading this, but I am seriously happy, and cannot wait to start! Life is also pretty confusing for many other reasons such as the choice on whether to start driving lessons, and guys... but the male human is a confusing species in general. But I think I am pretty much happy as I am for now, I have wonderful, amazing, crazy friends who I love, and so when a new guy finally comes along... lets hope he isn't too scared of the crazies to stick around :)

Anyway I am going to post this now and shall sit in fearful anticipation for my results, and hopefully everyone receiving results today, and any other day of the year will achieve as they hope! I shall hopefully update my blog tomorrow, with my results, if I do not feel too ashamed! <3